Beach Pondering and Poses that are Heart Opening

As I walked along the beach this morning, I noticed my shadow, for the first time noticed it was just me, just my shadow, no pair, no partner walking beside me in this physical realm. I didn't cry with this seemingly simple revelation, just noticed, but for the first time really. As connected as I feel with Mitch in the spiritual realm, in this earthly physical realm it was just me now, I was no longer a part of a couple. I straightened by spine and stood a little taller with each step, admiring the reflection of my own strength, my own poise, and continued walking with a humble sort of pride in my step, I was proud of who I was. And as I walked I pondered how I didn't feel alone, everyday I engaged with my Self, everyday I engaged with my children, and everyday I engaged with a blessed friend or family member. This year I had learned to be “alone.” It was the most pained year I had ever experienced, and yet the most blessed year I had ever experienced.

And then I went to a yoga class, and what do you know? It was exactly what I needed, although I can't say I was surprised... The theme of the class today was love, and each pose we did was intended to open the heart. By the end of the class as we lay in shivasana, or corpse pose, I began to cry, I cried as I felt the tingly sensation that connects me to Mitch, that connects me to the divine. I cried tears of thanks for his presence, and leftover tears of sadness for his physical death, it felt like the emotional cleanse I needed. Ah life, this life, bringing me exactly what it was that I needed this morning, but then it always does one way or another, right? And so I let the tears flow until they were done, and thanked the teacher and my dear friend for inviting me to the class, and then went about my day with my heart just a little more opened than it was when I arrived.