Wholeness without my other half. The title of my workshop for Camp Widow this Friday, and the theme for my first year braving the world again on my own, just me and my girls. This year I moved to Orcas Island, Washington. Wholeness- what does it mean to me? What has it meant for me? Being ok, being at peace, accepting life as it is. Not feeling as if I’m a wife that’s missing her husband. But feeling happy and grateful just as I am. Not trying to right the wrong of the past, or fix something that is broken, or fill in what is missing. No. Wholeness without my other half is just that, being whole all on my own. A true surrender and trust in my higher power’s plan for me.
This past December I reached the 5 year anniversary of Mitch’s death. 5 years. Something about it felt different. Something about 5 years made me want to let go of the sadness, let go of the mourning. Because it was still there. Subtle, but there. The wishing for it to be different.
I spent the year developing myself professionally, giving back in a way that I hadn’t been able to before, creating a new family culture, learning how to balance a full work life, while still being there for my kids with a peaceful mind, and no longer searching for new love to replace what was missing. I didn’t want the narrative of my life to read, “And she never was able to move on after he died. She carried with her a subtle sort of sadness.” No. I wanted the narrative of my life to read, “And she was finally able to heal from the heartbreak of losing him, fully put her trust and faith into the mystery of the higher power guiding her life. She healed from the thing that had brought her to her knees.”
And so excited to not only be teaching at Camp Widow this Summer, but also to be teaching with my dear workshop partner, Karen Wiggins- to bring you yoga, delicious and healthy food, and an exploration in wholeness- through writing and vision mapping at the Momma Yurt. I’m so honored and humbled to be able to share what I’ve learned, and reunite with my Southern California tribe. So, come. We have a limited number of spaces. And if you’ll be attending Camp Widow this weekend, I’ll see you there.
The photo I included in this post is of me and my dearly widowed friend, enjoying the Southern California beaches. She also just reached the 5 year anniversary of her husband’s death. Some of the content of my workshops on wholeness have been inspired by our talks, thank you Jenny!
Much Love to all!