After spending the last two years devoted to chronicling my grieving and healing process, now I am editing and preparing the entire journal for publication. And I’ve sort of reached the end of that chapter in my life… I’m no longer moved to write about grief anymore, well, every once in a while I am, but not so much anymore because I’ve seen my way through that time in my life. I feel healed. I have made my peace with death, and in fact it has been my greatest teacher in being grateful for my life, and in helping me to remember what is of true importance on the daily.
And what has shown itself as truest importance is raising my daughters, consciously. I had my four year old daughter in a Montessori preschool while living in Costa Rica , from age 2 ½ until nearly 4, and she loved it. However, upon my return to living in California, I made the choice to keep her and my 1 ½ year old daughter home with me. For how long, I wasn’t quite sure, I only knew I wanted to firmly reestablish our family culture, of peace, learning, patience, and joy after our intensive period of grieving, and before I sent them out into the world. And so, I am moved to share what I am about to begin chronicling… teaching, embodying, and really walking with and letting myself be moved and transformed by… Living and teaching all of the virtues I’d like to cultivate more deeply within myself, that I’d like to instill within my daughters, and that I’d like to see more of in the world, like for instance, a love of learning, cooperation, patience, gratitude, generosity, compassion, confidence, etc...
And this is really the heart of where true change begins, right? within ourselves… when we stop simply feeling powerless about the state of affairs across the world, and begin to “be the change we wish to see,“(thank you Gandhi) by beginning with ourselves and with the next generation, our children. And so, periodically, I will choose a different virtue that I feel inspired to live more deeply, that I’d like to see more of in the world, and that I’d like to teach my children and I will weave it, breathe it, and live it throughout our days. And I will write about it and share it. An intimate journey of living out the virtue of cooperation rather than competition in our daily lives as a mantra, as a deep embodied meditation, as a part of our daily conversations… An intimate journey of living out the virtue of compassion, not only for fellow human beings, but also for each living being we share space with, plants and animals alike… with the hope that this embodied learning and transformative daily experience of positivity will imprint onto our hearts and extend into our daily lived experience. And so this is great because it gives me a fresh writing project, writing about the thing I’m most focused upon at this point of my life, consciously raising my children, with a hope that it will also be inspiring and empowering to others.
I will also be writing about what lights up my nights; my experience of being an entrepreneur, down to my experience of being true to myself as I market my workshops, my private mind-body-spirit guidance sessions, take on the responsibility of being my own “boss” and creating my own feelings of worth, validation, and success, working through the comparison-to-others bug, and even the process of realizing what my definition of success even is… And finding the balance of both night and day, motherhood by day (and actually in being a single mom, it’s fatherhood too), and creator, developer, and writer by night, and let’s not forget just being Alexandria in all of it, cause how easy is it to lose ourselves in all of responsibilities of life? And I will be writing about the development of my professional self, the self that both gives back to the world and takes what is needed to support my family. And the creative process, and the process of following inspiration and intuition when it comes to moving forward in my business projects… And of course, I will be sharing the process of writing my book, the ups and the downs, the very realness of it all. And well, I’ll be writing about whatever else is inspiring and flowing, cause even though I like being organized, I need to be organized, I also despise being constrained by it, so in addition to writing about the things I’ve outlined already, I want to emphasize that I will also be writing about whatever else I want to write about, cause I’m practicing freedom. Organization gives me freedom to play and create within boundaries I've created, and a flexible, open-mind is the catch-all for whatever else is happening in my life. So, there. A declaration of fresh starts all across the board of my life, and so happy to be in a space where I can hear my authentic voice and share it with you. May for the force of inspiration be with you. xo